keller_2004

keller_2004 @ 2006-05-19T00:42:00

2006-05-19T05:03:26Z

A friend asked me the other night, he asked if i would help him sell some DVDS for him. These videos are of the Adult Oriented Kind. AKA PORN!!! ahhhhh he said porn!!! O no! Now some of you might think that im a creep now. Or some kind of pathetic junky.
1st off, this is not cocaine im selling or herion or anything like that. Its porn, people screwing and getting naked and all that other junk. I just dont understand why people get so paranoid or ashamed when it comes to porn. 2nd, the stuff that the people do on these videos is the same shit every other couple does, well not as extreme. Im sure none of you are having threesomes with double penetration. If you dont like it deal with it. But, if any of you out there would like a few then contact me. DO NOTTTTTTTTTTT COMEEEEEE TO MY WORK!!!!!!!! talk to me on here or instant messanger. They are not very expensive, just feel free to contact me someway or another. just not at my work. everyone have a lovely day.

keller_2004 @ 2006-04-14T01:53:00

2006-04-14T05:56:41Z

guess whos back mother fuckers. O yes, just when you thought I was gone for good. Im like herpes. You can take Valtrex but you cant stop all outbreaks. BAM COCK IN YOUR FACE.

keller_2004 @ 2006-01-09T04:11:00

2006-01-09T09:11:10Z

i guess ill need to eventually update this thing, i have to keep my readers amused. i think ill get something going tommorow night. whoever leaves the best comment on here gets a nice smack on the ass.

keller_2004 @ 2005-12-13T06:49:00

2005-12-13T11:50:57Z

ive decided to be an assassain, if you think you are bad ass enough, and it takes about 134% badass, then you can join me in my epic quest to rid the world of backpack roller people.

rain-ey

2005-12-08T08:32:07Z

So i know this girl, lets call her......Michelle Rainey. Now this girl many of you might not know so im gonna drop the 411 on this badass. First and foremost she is 110% awesome. There are very very very few girls who can even come close to her awesomeness. She can play basketball better then Lebron James. And her smile will melt faces. If i had her ass, well i would never wear pants. She is going out with some guy named Dalton, but ya know ive cuddled with him and he isnt too gentle. So if she wants some real lovin, The Keller is always ready. Her hair, well Herbal Essance had its own orgasm when it touched those blonde strands. Ive heard from various people that her back rubs are like angel hands. I have yet to experience one of these. Maybe after a hard night of kicking Daltons ass I could come home to one of those. ooooo she is fucking great. If all women were like her, I would of never started drinking. But hey the world cant be perfect.

p.s. Michelle, you know where the suga is at. ;)

keller_2004 @ 2005-12-01T03:37:00

2005-12-01T08:37:34Z

FUCK YOU!!!

i knew it was a trick, it will always be a trick

2005-11-29T07:11:24Z

I think the only way things could get any worse is if i lost my legs, and i better be careful of what i say. So the date never happend, there was some bad communication. Just a simple mishap of not dialing the area code first. So i called her and told her to call tonite when she got off work. And I ask her again, if she wants to go see a movie. And her response, the same GOD DAMN FUCKING RESPONSE IVE HEARD FROM EVERY OTHER FUCKER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. "Your not expecting anything out of this are you? We can go but just as friend?" So Im given a number? Plan a date earlier the previous week? Just so I can be friends? I dont need anymore god damn friends. I have enough as it is. Jesus heaven and earth. ive seen it all now, ive heard it all. My head must have a target for piles of shit. Nice has not once in my life gotten be anywhere, period. mother fucking fuck cock sucking ass fucking ass fuckers. I think i should just pack up my shit and leave. Go somewhere, doesnt matter where just go, hell go to Compton. 0-15, 0 and fucking 15, and this one, this one just tops the chart. Too be given a number and shit, god damn. And i didnt push her away, I didnt scare her, i was cool as a cucumber.
I have one positive out of this, ive been told that the best relationships come out of being friends, but in all honesty. Im tired of having "friends" i dont need anymore of those.

I dont need sympathy, or pity. I dont need people telling me to do this, or to do that, I dont give a fuck how many fish are in the sea. I dont give a fuck about patience or theres someone for everyone. Go fuck yourself if you have those thoughts in your head. So unless your comment can amuse me in the slightest kiss my ass.

keller_2004 @ 2005-11-24T03:03:00

2005-11-24T08:04:08Z

the date has been moved once again, saturday night. Ive waited 2 years i think i can wait 3 more days, and her last name is Marten-Fernandez, if i told you wrong im sorry. Spanish chicks are wild.

oooooo shit!

2005-11-22T10:20:41Z

I got a date, tonite (tuesday) with Natalia, were going to the movies to watch Harry Potter. OOOOOOOOO SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, this mother fucker finally did it. whahahahhawhwhahahwwhhahwa.

not a success, not a failure either

2005-11-16T21:14:27Z

So i gave Natalia a phone call today, wasnt very long and nothing went as planned but does anything? She did ask however the next time i would be at Genos. Her birthday is Friday and I do believe i will call her then and wish her a happy birthday, unless any of you out there have other opinions. But hey at least she wants to see me. I Will not fuck this up! I do feel better about the first call, now I must build on from there. Any suggestions anyone?

phase 1= call her

now what the fuck are phases 2-4? ;)

an update worth updating for

2005-11-14T09:02:23Z

I decided to update about this because its something to update about. So today (sunday) Im at Genos with my main man Nathan, and were sittin there watching the Packers beating the shit out of the Atlanta Falcons and im wearing my Cheese Head, when this waitress walkes by, Her name is Natalya. She compliments the Cheese Head, and I offer to let her wear it. She decides to put it on and starts to walk around wearing it on her head. She eventually gives it back, and Nathan decides to bet me 20 bux if i would get Natalyas phone number. And my mind began to move. And at the end of the night when our waitress gets our tabs I tell her, i said, " Theres a problem with my Cheese Head, Natalyas number isnt on it." Well if lady luck didnt shine on me, for a few minutes later i had her number in my hand. Can the planets finally be lining up? Probably not, if history should repeat itself then the Keller will be dumped on by a BIG STEAMING PILE OF SH.....oooooooo cookies. yum yum.

keller_2004 @ 2005-11-13T05:26:00

2005-11-13T10:27:01Z

i torture myself more then anyone else.

keller_2004 @ 2005-11-01T15:24:00

2005-11-01T20:25:06Z

ill update in the near future, bitches dont be rushin.

2 years and the wall comes crashing down

2005-10-19T04:30:30Z

O its finally over, Katie(the ex gf) called me a few weeks ago wanting me to come down and visit her in Atlanta, she attends college there. She called me again last night asking the same thing, she wasnt going to tell her boyfriend about it or anything. With a little help from a friend, I THE ONCE AGAIN JEFF KELLER finally had the balls to stand up and say no!. No more being jerked around, no more being toyed with. If she misses me so much, then i have a front door she can kindly knock on. And for the first time in a long time, the Keller doesnt hate anyone or anything right now. I still love her dont get me wrong there, but she needs to make the sacrifice now. She needs to put forth some sort of effort.

bitch about it

2005-10-15T07:30:54Z

hey i retired from poker, if you dont like it blow me. and stop your crying.

fags

If i wish really hard will you be hotter?

2005-09-30T07:57:58Z

I was laying in bed last night thinking, thats what i do. i think a shit ton. i think about everything, a million different images running through my head so fast its like a slide show on crack. I stumbled upon a thought from 8th grade. Remember those days? Every guy denied masturbation and everyones wang was 11 inches long. Ahh soo many porn stars in the making. Girls still walked around in large groups and the best game was "who do you like" "o im not telling" hehehe giggle giggle. O that was the start of my rise to power. But anyway back to my thought. I remember a girl, who if you went to Hardin Park will remember. Ashley Taylor. Back then she wasnt that the nasty STD ridden drug head that i do believe she is today. Back then she was normal. Well sorta anyway. She and I liked each other. KELLER A GIRL LIKED YOU?! thats what most of you will say, it will come to a shock to most. I bet 45% of you just shit your pants on that one. Yes she liked me, and i liked her. And i wasnt the Keller back then. I was jeff. Well I never had any courage, and I was very shy back then so nothing ever come of it. No dates, no relationship. Nothing. And then she found the "bad boys" she was kicked out of my school then the next time i saw her she was well lets say, Fried to the max. And ive always wondered if i could of changed things for her. O well. I wasnt in the mood to rant today, but dont worry boys and girls. I will entertain you all shortly, for the next post i think im going to destroy those little "Christians" who go to church and are such good little boys for those 2 hours on Sunday then turn into Satans little soldiers with there drinking and drug use and pre marital,maritial(spelling on that)sex and there shitty treatment of others. O dont worry everyone ill get them.

time to destroy

2005-09-23T06:47:52Z

Im in a mood to just rant, about anything everything and then some. So this entry wont be organized, or anything like that but as the night wears on im just gonna blab some shit out. OOo where to start, hurricane is about to whack texas and LA. Hell just might as well start the gulf there. Funny how Katrina was created my Bush aimed at "Black" people. I wonder who created Rita? Are we trying to kill latinos too? The stupidity of America is hurting my head. Attention white people!!!!! stop wearing your pants down to your knees, stop turning your hat sideways and stop acting like your gangsta. I can promise you, that you would be killed in Compton or Harlem. You are not black so stop acting like it! If you want to be gangsta, you buy a Zoot Suit, pick up a Fedora hat and carry a tommy gun. You stupid dumb pot smoking cock sucking retards. All of you have the combined intelligence as the turd that came outta my ass 20 minutes ago. nah thats insulting the turd. Achtung!!!!! Achtung!!!! Ugly people of the world, stoppppppppp calling yourself Hottprincess or Sexygal2000, or Stud Muffin, or Sexyman05. You are ugly, go find an ugly partner BUT under nooooooooo circumstance have children, for 96% of the time they will be ugly too. I will be forced to make a law that forbids this practice. When I worked Christian Cosmic on the 16th of September, I was asked out by a 14 year old. Why is it that I attract 14 year olds and fat women? Ive heard the fat ones are fun to ride but i dont need extra cushin for the pushin. Where is that lovely 16-21 year old that doesnt smoke or drink til she is shitfaced and telling me that she loves me (im not meaning you) Where are you?? O wait i know where, your with the asshole who only wants you for sex and someone to yell at i forgot. Because the "nice guy" that i am never wins. And it amazes me how many people read this thing, for those of you who are unaware i can tell who reads this and what not. OOoo what magic i have. I dont mind anyone reading it and i dont mind anyone commenting on it. Im just amazed at some people who read it. People who seem to check it everytime there on. Damn there a ton of fat people in america. Lose some fucking weight. I know some of you cant help it but the rest, holy shit stop sticking your face in a tub of mcdonalds everytime you eat. Eat some celery or something. WALK! Excercise.

good and evil, night and day, black and white

2005-09-19T08:17:04Z

ive been feeling more aggressive lately. Not entirely sure why, i feel like i could beat someone into a bloody mess and feel no remorse. No sympathy. Someone told me that they were wary of me, that they were afraid of a part of me. The evil part, the dark part. That I would physically hurt them, or someone else. Now Im thinking, with the way I have felt lately, I wonder if I would do that. That dark side of me, which most people think "o everyone has that" well mine is different. Its an entity, another Being. Another person all togeather. Who cares for nothing. This person could sense it in me, could tell what I was hiding behind these hazel eyes (take that kelly clarkson, stupid bitch.) I wonder if others can sense it too.

the upside of my anger

2005-09-15T06:04:00Z

Someone called my house last night at 130am, then hung up, i called them back and they said they just wanted to talk, but couldnt do it right now. My Retard Radar went off that second. Way to go dumbass. If you cant talk then you shouldnt of called me. That woke up my mother and her and I then had a 10 minute argument. I dont enjoy arguing with my mother, she brings out the worst in people. And the worst in me is not a good thing, doesnt matter whole family leaves for the beach tommorow. House alllllllllllllllllllll to myself for the weekend. Its mostly to myself anyway. The amount of weirdness going on with a certain somone is getting, well, weirder. I need to confront so and so about this.

o and by the way, im 0-14 now, i didnt need to be stuck on 13. so randomness paid off.

i felt the air rise up in me

2005-09-14T08:36:18Z

430am baby, o and im still kicking it. Nothing better then eating spaghetti, and drinking some lemon lime kool aid. Most of you are thinking, o im glad he isnt gonna yell this time. O too bad bitches. That non-yelling post was a rariety. This time im out to kick ass. But i dont know what to yell and rant about, im just blah. I guess im just sucked dry of all good material. I could go off on being rejected again, but that has lost its appeal. Be pissy about the country? nah everyone else does that for me. I cant be out of material, its impossible. There is something i know it, i can feel it. Maybe i should just let out the deep dark secret...............

good times keep on rolling

2005-09-12T07:47:20Z

0-13, if you dont know what it means dont bother asking. good times, great oldies.

i wanna be mean

2005-09-07T06:13:30Z

ive wondered what it would be like to post something that didnt involve: yelling, profanity, an attack on someones race or religon. What it would be like to just be normal for once on here. To talk about something that made me smile or about my day or something like that. Everyone else seems to do that, i like to read about peoples days. But there days seem more interesting then mine, im not a very exciting person. Im gonna give it a shot though, im gonna talk about my day today. And try my super best not to yell like my previous posts. So dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? I went to bed at 530am tuesday morning, i woke up about 1100am. I went to the bowling alley before i went and picked up Nori to have lunch with her. Very nice i must say, having lunch with a girl and Nori is very nice to me. Been a long time since that happend. And no she is not my girlfriend. After eating at Phans I dropped her back off at the highschool and who did I find? Why dalton shields of course. He and I went to the basketball court where i fell to him in a glorious battle. A battle of MEN and bigger MEN, and lions too. We then went bowling where i bowled like super shit. Then i trudged off to work for 6 hours of pure boredom,but its always nice to have money coming your way. then came home and now im here, at 212am. this post isnt very exciting at all.

to you Angel

2005-08-31T04:04:24Z

To the one who calls herself "Angel" This post is dedicated to you. I would like to know who you are, because I have exhausted my current list of suspects. I only know a select few girls who know the Bible and who can speak as intelligent as you can. Those that I thought were the culprits are not. So I ask you, my so called guardian angel, to come forth and tell me your name. To speak with me, for I would like to get to know you. Or do I already??

these past few days have sucked major major balls

2005-08-22T05:27:30Z

It started on friday at 534pm,I bowled a 299, one little pin cost me perfection. But I thought that this might be a great great day. Then I head over to Daltons abode. Which lately has been my own house. And poker was being played. And I love me some poker. But alas i finish 4th, and money was 3rd. So close once again, catch my drift. Then later that night I learned some news, that the girl who ive wanted to go out with, lets call her, hmmm Eliza seems to work. I find out that she has found another gentleman. This is a lovely kick to my groin, my balls found there way up to my throat. So im super pissed off at this point. I come home because if i go anywhere else old women and children will be kicked in the face. Then yesterday im chillin out soaking up some sun because i wanna be hip like the rest of these kids and my dog runs up and i notice she is twitching and then she falls over and starts shaking. Like having a siezure, so I freak out and I start making some phone calls and Ive come to 2 theories, either it was a spider i found near the spot she was laying, nasty spider too. Or she licked a frog or toad, which can make you hallucinate. Her eyes were big as saucer plates. So about 15 minutes later she quit but i still didnt like it. Then I find out my home boy Nate Dogg or AKA Pissed of mother fucker who will cut your face off if you look at him wrong. I find out he was stood up by this girl who fucked me over a couple months back and im pissed and he is pissed and everyone is all to hell. Then today as im going up my road I hit a cat. It came outta nowhere and i knocked the shit outta it, i saw it limp away but i didnt go back to check. Then I find out one of my friends is getting married, after another one of my friends goes off on my ass about how stupid I am. I did not forget about life partner. Im busy as shit you gotta give me time to get over there. So whats the moral of this story boys and girls? im in a bad mood, im not too happy. Im broke as shit, and i just want a hug. I got a big bowling tourny this saturday, first place is 1500 dollars. Pros are gonna be bowling in this, everyone wish me luck, i really need the money.

what the fuck

2005-08-21T06:18:44Z

WHAT THE FUCK??????????????? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK??????